The Nuclear Explosion That Is Me As A Fairy Tail Wizard!
by emisparrow
Summary: For some bizarre reason, I've suddenly found myself, Valerie Evans, a normal human of Planet Earth, a member of the Fairy Tail guild! How did I get here? Why am I here? How will I survive here? And how in the world am I supposed to get back home! Goodness, I need chocolate right now ...
1. Chapter 1

Hey peeps, I'm new here! I'm Emi, and this is my first Fairy Tail fanfiction! Constructive critiscism is not only welcome but suggested! I am also not Hiro Mashima. I wish I was though, that would be awesome. Also, I might forget I made this story. Maybe. Just saying.

"Ah, I'm so tired!" I mumbled, stifling a yawn, as I sat on the edge of my bed. Tears from the sleep-filled sigh pooled in my eyes as I stretched my entire body - which was clad in an old Harry Potter t-shirt and some hot pink shorts – until I was pretty sure I heard something in my back pop. I then wiped the offensive droplets away with the backs of my hands and sighed.

"I'm exhausted, and I haven't even done anything today!" I grumbled, which was in fact quite true; I had tidied up my room a bit then watched anime all day. And yet here I was, my eyes itching to close and my mind straining to shut down.

"Well, it's not like I have anything interesting to do anyway," I flopped down in a single downwards swoop, landing on the mattress behind me with a satisfying _shwop_. I looked at the ceiling and, feeling another yawn coming to me, thought:_ I wish I could live a life of magic, like those Fairy Tail wizards in that anime._

The second yawn stretched my mouth open and pushed my eyes closed. I rubbed yet more tears away and heard a long _woosh_ as my breath left me. I lay there with my eyes closed, enjoying the softness of the bed, but suddenly the light was too bright and the bed was too hard and…

"You want a piece of me you exhibitionist?"

"I would say it's rather the opposite, you pyromaniac!"

I sat up straight, all drowsiness evaporated, and opened my eyes in absolute shock and terror to find a pink-haired monster flying towards me, fist raised and a look of murderous hatred in his eyes.

"_Eeeeeeeekkk_!" I squeaked in fright and lay right back down, avoiding a black eye and a broken nose by mere seconds – though I did earn a rather large bump to the back of my head from the speed of my retreat to the wooden floor. I watched, twisting my head and neck from my position on the hardwood to watch in astonishment as he soared behind my head towards another – this one shirtless - boy, who received the punch straight in the jaw but delivered a blow to the pink-haired guy's cheekbone. _No way … Could it be …?_

The pink-haired boy suddenly stopped punching, and signaled to the other guy to stop too.

"What is that weird smell … like … vanilla or something … I've never smelled anything like it before. And I could swear that I heard something, a sort of squeak," he said, and lifted his nose to the air.

"You stopped our fight for a _smell_? Come on, flame-brain! But I definitely heard a little squeak" complained the shirtless boy, whose pants had now mysteriously gone missing too. He stood there, looking around the room in his underwear, which seemed to make absolutely no one uneasy but me.

"I'm not a flame-brain, you droopy eyes! But this smell … This is different, it feels … foreign … Where …" he muttered. Then his eyes landed on me, lying on the cold wooden floor in my Harry Potter shirt and hot pink shorts, staring right back with wide, horrified eyes.

"Who are you? Where did you come from? Was it you who squeaked?" he asked, cocking his head to the side like a confused dog. He didn't seem perturbed by my lack of enthusiasm or of normal clothing.

"Im-p-p-possib-b-ble," I said shakily, staring wide-eyed at the pair of them. Natsu looked perplexed for a moment, then a horrified look passed over his face.

"You were the one who squeaked right? I almost hit you, didn't I?" he said, then ran over to help me up, apologies overflowing from his mouth. My knees were trembling so badly I couldn't stay standing for more than a few seconds. I sat on my knees, then looked up at him and reluctantly asked:

"Wh-wh-where- where am I?" I whispered, stuttering in shock. He looked at me, even more confused.

"Where do you think you are? You're in Fairy Tail!" he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I looked at him in shock, held out my arm in front of me, stared at it for a moment then pinched myself hard.

"Ghee!" I yelped at the pain I inflicted on myself, closing my eyes in a grimace. I opened them to stare at the red welt forming where I had hurt myself, then looked back to Natsu, who had not disappeared or turned into some form of ostrich or grown an alligator tail, from which I could have deduced I was dreaming. So, my arm still held before me, I openly gaped at the pink-haired boy. It crossed my mind that I was the perfect target for flies, but more pressing matters – like the fact that I seemed to have in some way been teleported to Fairy Tail – crushed that thought rather quickly. Natsu's eyes widened at the mark on my arm, and lifted me to my unsteady feet.

"Hey, are you all right? Why did you do that, what's wrong? Grey, call Wendy, she might be able to do something," he called, then turned back to me, "It's going to be okay, just hang on,". I nodded meekly and gave a tentative smile. Suddenly I fell, sagging in his arms as my legs suddenly turned to jelly. I felt as though I was made of cement, unable to keep my body from collapsing to the ground. Natsu yelled and shook me, and my head lolled to the side just in time to see a blue cat fly towards us.

That's when I passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2

I came to my senses, light delicately skimming my eyelids. I groaned, erratically throwing one of my arms to my head, then smacking my lips and turning onto my stomach. After a few moments of trying to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep in, I decided to roll onto my back again. Using my momentum to fling my sleep-heavy limbs to point the four corners of the bed – more or less – and I tried to blow the thick curtain of knotted hair that covered my face back to the side, with no success. Then I slowly remembered something rather odd.

"That was such a strange dream," I muttered groggily to myself, voice still scratchy from dreamland, "I could have sworn I was in Fairy Tail, seeing Natsu and Gray fighting … It looked so real, but even _I_ know that stuff doesn't exis-"

"She's awake!"

"What does she mean Natsu and Gray? She knows them?"

"She's so cute!"

"Stop being a perv!"

I opened my eyes and found myself surrounded by stone walls, white bed sheets and enormous amounts of people, who were all staring at me with incredible intensity. I squinted at them through my hair, and my heart sank – or soared. I had very mixed emotions.

"How could this …" I wondered aloud, but was cut off.

"Who are you?" asked a voice I had already heard before. A boy with pink hair came into my line of sight. He was wearing navy clothes with golden lining, and a white scarf with scale-like designs.

"You look exactly like Natsu Dragneel …" I said, still quite groggy, staring up at him through hooded eyes. I rubbed the spot I had pinched pre-dead faint absent-mindedly.

"That's because I am Natsu Dragneel. You didn't answer my question, you know," he said, firmly but not in an intimidating manner. It sounded like he was confused and just needed to clarify a few things. He stared at me for a few moments and I answered.

"I'm Valerie Evans," I said, staring right back at him.

"Where are you from?" He asked again, still firmly but with a soft touch that put me at ease.

"What do you mean? Would you like to know … the, uh, galaxy, the planet, the continent, the country, the province or the city?" I asked, not thinking too much as I said so. A few chuckles rose up from the crowd around my bed, and I looked around curiously and still rather groggily before quickly bringing my gaze back to the pink-haired boy in front of me. Natsu looked puzzled – he made me think of a puppy for some reason – and said:

"What about all of them?"

"Very well," I answered, took a deep breath and said quite quickly, "I'm from the Milky Way, Planet Earth, North America, Canada, Québec, Montréal ," Everyone looked _puzzled_ now.

I sighed, now fully woken up. I sat up in my bed and stared at the crowd, surprisingly calm.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"You're in Earthland, Fiore, Magnolia, The Fairy Tail wizard guild," Natsu answered in the same way I had before. I felt my jaw unhinge slightly, and stared at him.

"Holy crap," I muttered, and followed up with some other more juicy terms as I started actually looking around. I recognized Natsu, Lucy, Gray – whose shirt had disappeared- and Happy – who was waving a fish at Lucy's face. I also saw Erza, Wendy and Charles, Mira, Lisanna, Elfman, Levy, and more people from Fairy Tail. Most were either whispering to each other and giggling or staring at me with gaping mouths.

"Let's keep it clean girly!" shouted someone from the back of the room, and everybody laughed. Indeed, I was so shocked that I in fact spouted much more than a simple, "Holy crap,".

"This is getting complicated. What in the world am I doing here?" I said, and then turned to Natsu, "Slap me,"

"No way in hell am I doing that! What's with you and hurting yourself? And why would you want me to slap you in the first place?" he shouted, embarrassed and puzzled as the room was suddenly filled with booming laughter. I then realised what I had said.

"It's nothing like that, you brainless blockhead! I just wanted to make sure I was awake and not dreaming! You shouldn't assume things, because we both now that _that _could get you lying on a hospital bed, with a coma you'd have been traumatized into by yours truly," I growled back. A few more laughs and some hoots filtered through the room from some of the guilds more perverted sorts.

"Looks like this one is onto you Natsu!"

"Shut up! Anyway," he said, turning back to me, "I am not a blockhead, and there is no way you could ever get me on a hospital bed! Secondly, why would you be dreaming?"

"Oh, Natsu, I can certainly argue with you on that point – you know, the fact that you're a brainless blockhead," Another familiar voice, that seemed to ooze a smirk without me even needing to see its owner's face, came to my ears. Grey sauntered over, punching Natsu lightly in the shoulder, which caused the latter to push him away with literally flaming fists. I froze, a stabbing pain filling my heart as a cool mist started flowing out of Grey's hands, and they looked ready to brawl. Every muscle in my body clenched involuntarily at the sight.

"How did you do that?" I whispered, staring at the two boys, who turned and looked at me, bewildered.

"With magic, of course! Hey, why are you crying?!" answered Natsu, looking alarmed.

I wiped a tear from my cheek hastily; I hadn't realized it had leaked out. I kept staring at his fists; the fire had gone out when he had seen me cry and I could only wish for it to come back on.

"Magic doesn't exist in my world. It's a legend, a story to entertain the dreams of children. When I was young, my grandfather bought me a book about, well, magic. It was a work of fiction, but it was my hope, the last little shred of it I could hold on to in my world of the concrete and the dull. My grand-father was the best man who ever existed; he was supremely intelligent, kind and generous, and did everything he could to make me happy. I read that book he gave me through and through so many times I lost count. I tried the spells it contained, even though I knew they were all fake. I made myself a magic wand from an oak branch, and even learned about dragons and their migratory patterns. All of that was fake too; dragons don't exist. Though they, in fact, were always my favourite: intelligent and wise beyond measure, they possess extraordinary destructive power, they are beautiful and majestic, and yet they can be benevolent and compassionate to those they deem worthy. That's why my grandpa bought me this too," I said quietly and took out from under my shirt a dragon pendant. It featured a silvery dragon with its wings raised, a black stone caught between the two. Natsu stared at it as I continued, "But all of what I learned about magic and dragons, was of course all a lie. Magic and dragons don't exist but I always hoped … They were my greatest dream … They still are…" I trailed off, staring at Natsu and Grey before rubbing my eyes furiously and looking to the side to avoid showing my tears. I saw a lot of people's gazes soften. Happy and Lucy looked at me with gleaming eyes, yet some became confused.

"Then why do I sense-" asked a woman's voice, who was cut off by someone entering the room.

"It's alright Mira-Jane," said a minuscule, wrinkled elderly man with a white mustache and a strange hat who had suddenly appeared in the door frame of the infirmary. He carried a staff with a pinkish-purplish smiley face on it, and his wise, serious eyes searched the room to finally set on me.

"Master Makarov, may I speak to you privately?" I asked, facing him from my seated position on the bed. He nodded, and another confused whisper went through the crowd. _How did she know his name?_

"Everyone, go," he said without his gaze ever leaving mine.

"But Gramps-", protested Natsu, but was cut off by a single look from his master. Sighing, he grabbed Lucy and Happy and left the room with them in tow, to be followed by the rest of the gang.

Makarov sighed. He sat at the foot of the bed on which I now sat and looked at me.

"You know many things, don't you girl? How did you get here?" he asked softly, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the chair.

"I have no idea. I was laying on my bed, in my room, in my house, when I yawned and suddenly I was … well, almost killed by Natsu! And I know many things because, well … It's complicated." I said, "Here goes nothing: where I come from, there's something called television. It's a type of … box with a glass screen on the front, and the screen shows video, which I guess I could explain as moving pictures," I said, as the Master's intelligent eyes focused on me, "People created a set of drawings and made a recording of them that made it look like the characters were actually moving. Don't ask me about the details, I have no idea how this actually happens. Drawings were created by artists, sound recorded to be put as voices, overall it was art come to life, and in the specific culture it originated from – Japanese culture – this is called anime. This anime was based on a series of mangas, which are like picture books accompanied by speech bubbles that spell dialogue. It sounds really complicated, I know, but the point is, that cartoon I was watching, well … you've probably guessed,".

Master Makarov grunted.

"It featured the Fairy Tail guild. The first episode of the series was about Natsu and Lucy' first meeting, with the fake Salamander-pirate and the whole port-town being burned down by Natsu's flames. From there, I saw all about everything going on with the guild. You and all of Earthland are a creation of a man named Hiro Mashima, and you are characters in his mangas," I said, cringing slightly at the words coming out of my mouth. Yikes.


End file.
